B is for Behaviors

When Squish was first diagnosed, everyone asked about his behaviors: was he self-injurous, did he scream, tantrum, hit, etc. At that time (he had just turned 2) he didn't really have any. Sure, there were a few tantrums but mostly he just kinda went along with everything. Fast-forward to today and he has a whole array of them. He screams, tantrums, and unfortunately hits (as a last resort when the screaming and tantruming don't get him what he wants). The weird part? I'm kind of celebrating these behaviors. 'Cause they tell me that he has opinions, ideas, desires, and he ain't gonna roll over just because you ask him to.

That said, I want him to learn that there are better ways to express himself. He has some expressive language now and he needs to use it. He needs to understand that there are general social rules that he needs to follow. But he's not even 3 yet...there's time.

Maybe it's because I feel this way that I almost blew up at one of the therapists at Squish's OT clinic this morning. He was doing a great job stringing beads, drawing circles, trying to cut "pway-dow" with scissors, etc. while waiting for his turn on the swing. Squish loves the swing. He loves it so much that when I mention his OT's name "April" he says "swing." And we aren't talking about just any swing. We're talking about a giant swing that hangs from the ceiling and has all these different seats (tubes, hammocks, bolsters, etc.). So waiting his turn on the swing is extremely hard for him, but he did it.

After his turn, during which he said "mow wingk" (more swing) everytime the swing as much as started to slow down, he had a pretty good tantrum. He wanted "mow wingk" and April wanted him to work on his balance by holding one foot up and then the other. He ended up on the floor screaming while April calmly told him to stand up when he was done. This I agree with. This is what we do at home too. Make sure he isn't hurt or hurting anyone else and then ride it out and try to redirect him.

What I don't agree with is the other OT "Mary" taking it upon herself to tell the Squish to use his "indoor voice" and asking him if he had an "indoor voice" and if that was his "indoor voice" she'd hate to hear his "outdoor voice." Our OT just kept focussed on Squish. Telling him that when he was done he could stand up. I, on the other hand, was reeling.

Not more than 5 minutes later the session was over and we were out the door. We got in the truck to drive home and Squish fell asleep. I stewed for about 5 more minutes and then called up the clinic. I spoke with April and told her that I didn't appreciate Mary's comments and that if Squish's behavior was an issue, they needed to take it up with me, not with my somewhat non-verbal 2 1/2 year old. April apoligized and said she'd speak to Mary.

It's getting late and this post is turning into a bit of a ramble, but the bottom line is this: sometimes I feel like Squish's behaviors are easier to understand and tolerate than the behaviors of some of the "typical" folks we encounter.