Q is for Quirky

Autism Diva had a post up the other day that struck a cord with me. It was on this abstract that takes a look at the traits and characteristics of parents with children on the autism spectrum. Basically the researcher found that those of us with children on the spectrum have more austistic traits than the control group. So I just made a little mental list of the things I did as a child that a) drove my Mother nuts and b) falls into the types of behavior that is often described when talking about kiddos on the spectrum:

As a child I:
-Was a toe-walker (to the point my Mother took me to the Doctor)
-Couldn't touch newspaper. Could.Not.Touch.It. Made me physically ill.
-Hated lasagna because I couldn't gag the texture of the noodles
-Early talker...lots of words
-Early reader...reading (simple) books cover to cover by 3 1/2
-Was a rocker (from side to side)
-Liked lists and schedules...thrown off by change

As an adult I:
-LOVE lists and schedules...thrown way off by change
-Have sensory issues (don't even come near my belly button...I'll poke your eye out!)
-Must rock back and forth while standing
-Must rub both feet together to fall asleep

Obviously, these are just quirks. But they are quirks I also see in Squish (except for the verbal component...he's not an early talker but kicks ass with his PECS book). I've always thought we're all autistic in some degree. Or that autism is certain traits magnified. Bottom line, we're all quirky.

P is for Party!

We had a few of Squish's classmates (and their parents and siblings) over for pizza and cake last night to celebrate his fourth birthday. After much discussion, The Hubs and I agreed that while the family party we have for the Squishes every year is fun, this was the year we should invite school friends. But we also knew that having everyone over for one party would be overload for Squish, for his classmates, and for us. So pizza party night was born.

And it was FANTASTIC! The kiddos did great. We bounced on the trampoline, played on the swingset, ate pizza and cake, and then it was over. It was so fun and time just flew by. And honestly, it was the least stressful party we've ever had. Squish was totally at ease with his classmates, and we were at ease as parents knowing that everyone in the room understood us and our unique challenges and opportunities. It was like an instant bond developed.

And when everyone left and tubs were had and pjs put on, Squish looked at me and said, "What happened?" and I said, "We had a party for you, did you have fun?"

"Party" he said with a smile. What a kick-ass way to start his fourth year!

O is for Opportunity

Today marks Squish's fourth birthday. Last night the whole family was sitting on the couch watching Bob the Builder and snuggling and I was thinking about where I was four years ago. Hugely pregnant, excited, nervous. I didn't have a clue what mothering would be like. I thought I did. I had read books! I had talked to other women! I was ready. Snort.

And then I thought of all that we've been able to experience in the last four years. The highs, the lows, the in-betweens. And the lessons I've learned about myself, about love, about the act of mothering (verb) versus being a mother (noun) and it's been a breathtaking journey. With tears in my eyes, I gave Squish a kiss on his curly little head and said "Thank you." The Hubs looked over at me and said, "What are you thanking him for?"

"The opportunities he's given this family to grow."

Happy Birthday Baby. You are one of a kind and I look forward to all the adventures the next year will bring.

oxox,
Mommy

N is for Nutty

Um. Is this thing on? So it's been almost a year. Don't really want to backtrack, just want to say that the "regression" that started in May lasted in fits and starts throughout the summer and then ended with the start of the school year. It was a long, long, summer. But Squish rallied, as always, and is now cooking along in his preschool/ABA/Music/OT/Swim lessons and in life. He has started using the PECS system and it's spurred a whole lot of language and comprehension. He's also starting a reading and writing program (at 4!) because he is so visual and has a kick ass memory. And he's turning into a little man. A gorgeous little curly-headed man who is making his way with us right beside him.

I'm going to be updating here more regularly, but it won't always be about Squish and autism. It may be about Squish II (who will be 2 in April!) or me, or the Hubs. That's been a change I've been through in the last several months. Autism has taken a backseat to life. I know it's going to be with us always, but it doesn't get to sit up front!

;) md

M is for Mystery

So, for the last week Squish has had a "regression" in terms of behavior and in terms of attending to the task at hand. I'm not even sure regression is the right word. In my mind, these periods are like being at the beach during high tide. When the waves come in further, recede, and then come further still. So Squish is receeding before an advance (we hope). Usually there is a leap after this kind of lapse. But it still makes me sick inside with worry that the ABA will just stop working or that he'll retreat from us emotionally.

I know this lapse probably means he is stressed out or burned out and I totally understand that. I'm always amazed at how hard he works and how he does so with a smile on his face. But because he usually is so happy and so easy going when he has an increase in tantrums and stimming and can't seem to focus or answer a question he's "mastered" it really, really freaks me out. It's like night and day and I can't stop thinking about it.

Ok, so I don't know where I'm going with this except to say that just when I feel like our family has got this "living with Autism" thing nailed, another mystery pops up. It's CSI: Autism and we are back on the case to help find ways to make Squish happier, healthier, and more communicative.

L is for Love

So it's been about a month since I updated last. Sigh. Things get so busy around here and the blog is probably last on my (long) list.

So, we are currently in a space I call "cruising" -- where Squish's therapy is set, we have a schedule in place, and he is making progress. These are times of relative calm and peace. However, we are fast approaching the end of the school year which means another change in schedule, another meeting with the school, another set of decisions...all the stuff I don't like about having a child with special needs. The business end of it, if you will. Squish transitions beautifully, and we are thankful for that. It's one of his biggest strengths, actually. Sometimes I'm the one who has a hard time with transitions!

The biggest change in Squish over the last month is the amount of affection he is showing Squish II. He is hugging and kissing his brother, sharing toys (always with the vocalization "SHARE!" as if to warn Squish II that sharing is temporary), and just being more aware of him in general. Squish II is eating it up with a spoon. He is, and has always been, so in love with his big brother.

So, so lovely to see.

J is for Joy

We took a trip this weekend that wasn't the most fun or the most relaxing for any of us. I won't go into the details, but we saw an increase in behaviors from Squish and I don't blame him. I had an increase in behaviors too...mostly sighing and grumping about how this trip was kinda a pain in the tushy.

Anyway, let's get to the joy part. During the trip I had this, my first, conversation with Squish:

Squish: Mama?
Me: Yes baby?
Squish (with eye contact and a smile): HI!
Me (swooping up the Squish for lots of hugs and kisses): Hi baby! Hi baby!

Happy, happy, joy, joy!!!